Friday, August 21, 2009

Effective communication? Actions speak louder than words.

Yes, effective communication helps us go places (both literally and metaphorically). It helps information be passed smoothly from the source to the receiver, preventing miscommunication. But yet I believe, that fundamentally, effective communication is so much more. What then is the importance? Well, I believe, if nothing else, effective communication makes us all human.

Perhaps I should explain. If effective communication was merely about a 100% accurate transmission of data and information from source to receiver, then why bother. We'd be better off building robots in our stead. Yet, this is not so (thankfully!). Because effective communication is so much more! It is about communicating the things left unsaid (mainly by non verbal means). The tones, intonations and nuances tell us the mood and intention of the speaker. The sense of touch, an arm around the shoulder says "I'm here". The genuine smile says, "I'm really happy to see you". Indeed, actions speak louder than words.

Consider for a moment, when learning a language. I may know the grammar. I may know the vocabulary. But when actually placed in that society, I find I have no clue what the locals are talking about at all. The varying nuances in intonations, the accent and slangs cannot be learnt any other way than by actually experiencing. Being there in the present, understanding the society's culture, how they think, how they feel, these are all part of effective communication, and these are all part of showing our humanity.

So, yes, effective communication can help us land a job, it can help us travel the world, it can help us forge better relationships all around. But fundamentally, its importance for me goes beyond that. It takes more than head knowledge to communicate effectively. It takes genuine interest and may I even go so far to say, love. No matter how hard we try, if we are not genuine, it will show eventually. If we aren't communicating effectively, then perhaps we aren't getting the full human experience.

6 comments:

  1. Hi there!
    I agree with you that," effective communication is so much more! ".
    And certainly, Non-verbal communication tools is very important. And in fact we have been using that everyday. When we are happy and we were asked how we are feeling, we replied, " Good" with a big smile on our face to reinforce out massage. And for me i feel that, it is not the knowledge of all the different cultures or languages to make us communicate with people but rather to have the sincere heart to want to communicate with someone. For instance, one of my uncle was a supervisior for a construction company and under him, there was alot of indian and thai worker. Though he does not speak his language but they have become good friends and co-worker despite they may not be able to communicate like how we do. I feel that it's really about them wanting to communicate with each other that they are able to overcome the language barrier. With sincerity of wanting to connect with someone, i feel that though we may have language barrier, though i may not speak perfect and wonderful english, i will still be able to get my point across via all the other non-verbal cues. :)

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  2. Hey Aaron,

    I would consider a 100% accurate information transfer as the ideal communication. How else can communication be more effective? Perhaps we mean different things when we say "data" and "information".

    I would consider the various messages sent via body language, inflections and nuances as information as well, and being aware of and controlling these other things as much a part of effective communication as controlling our speech and our writing.

    All in all, an interesting take on the role of communication. Certainly, high level communication is one of the main differences between us and other animals, allowing us to shore up knowledge and ideas beyond the lifespan of an individual and progress as a society.

    Would like some clarification though, on whether you think communication allows us to express our humanity, or if communication itself is the human experience.

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  3. Thanks for the comments.

    Regarding my definition of 100% accurate communication, I think I would like to put it this way. Say for example I want to fire my employee. I could send him an email saying, "you're fired." Short and sweet. Did I get my message across to fire him? Yes I did, and with a 100% accuracy, but is that effective communication? It may not necessarily be.

    I am considering effective communication to be over and above the actual message or data to be transmitted. If I may quote author Annette Simmons, “The missing ingredient in most failed communication is humanity.”

    I would say both. Effective communication allows us to express our humanity as well as being part of the human experience in itself.

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  4. Hi Aaron,

    I like the series of examples you gave in support of the proclamation that ‘actions speak louder than words’ in paragraph 2! These are instances where effective communication demonstrates its capacity to pass on positive emotions. Perhaps the binomial distribution of effective communication into verbal and non-verbal components is not comprehensive: as you’ve pointed out, ‘it takes more than head knowledge to communicate effectively’.

    In my opinion, the verbal and non-verbal components of communication are merely manifestations of the emotions that drive them. My emotions invariably constitute a part of every message that I convey, and they certainly transcend the verbal and non-verbal components of the message. Hence, I think the emotional aspect of human communication would be understated if it had been classified as just another form of non-verbal communication.

    It is also encouraging that you should speak of the complexities of non-verbal communication and the diversity of the paralanguage with such excitement and pride. Indeed, it is exactly these intricacies of human communication that make us the most sophisticated species on this planet. Let us embrace this gift and use it wisely.

    Bing Fu

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  5. Aaron, this is a fairly concise post you'd written, so give yourself a pat on the back!

    You'd shared why 'genuine interest' and 'love' is so important in communication, and responded to Alvin's comment with a fitting example to demonstrate your point - I must say that this is a very original approach indeed.

    Thanks for sharing - I'm looking forward to your next post!

    Cheers,
    Ms. lim

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  6. Hey Mr Thong,

    I like the ideas that you have presented in your post. I agree with the sentence "Because effective communication is so much more!" because I too feel that effective communication is often underestimated.

    "It is about communicating the things left unsaid (mainly by non verbal means)" also shows us that you have taken into consideration of the tiny gritty things that are often expressed by non verbal means as a component of effective communication.

    I also liked the example you used while demonstrating the non verbal means idea; learning a language. I totally agree with that because I have experience in this. Really, though you may know all the vocab and grammar, it really is hard to speak or even understand a native speaking that particular language.

    Without the ability to communicate effectively despite knowing all the vocab and grammar you need to know definitely do not aid one in achieving effective communication.

    The examples you shared were all pretty interesting and I look forward to reading more posts of yours!

    Audrey

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