left out my details on purpose. I'll try putting up a 2nd draft at a later date
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Aaron Thong Zhenghui
** *******
Singapore ********
Telephone: 9*******
3 Sep, 09
Germaine Tay Mei Yu
Administrative Officer
School of Science and Technology, Singapore
5 Clementi Ave 6
Singapore 129835
Dear Ms Tay,
I am writing to express my interest in joining your school as a chemistry teacher. I am currently pursuing my undergraduate studies at the National University of Singapore, expecting to graduate with a B.Sc (Chemistry) Hons. at the end of the academic year 09/10.
I come to you with prior work experience as a teacher, having been employed as a relief chemistry teacher in Anglo Chinese Junior College where I worked for 6 months after I completed my national service stint. I have also worked as a tutor in chemistry and biology to students both in the O and A level standards. Having been exposed to the standards and rigours which teaching entails, I am confident that I have the skills and creativity required to fulfil this challenging job scope.
The School of Science and Technology (SST), although new, promises to be a dynamic player in educating and nurturing bright young minds. To achieve this, educators need creativity and a strong passion for teaching, qualities of which I can bring to your school. I am confident that my skills will be of use in nurturing the next generation of our children.
I would appreciate the opportunity to meet with you to discuss my qualifications and the possibility of contributing to your firm. I look forward to hearing from you and I thank you for your time.
Yours sincerely,
Aaron Thong Zhenghui
Good effort, Aaron. You have followed the guidelines closely, and have appropriately written your opening, body and closing paragraphs.
ReplyDeleteA question I have is: has your application letter set you apart from other applicants? You have talked about your prior work experiences, which is good, but which may not be enough to differentiate you from others.
Ms. Lim
Dear Aaron,
ReplyDeleteA clear and concise letter, you certainly ease the readers by putting your points across straightforward. I agree to Ms. Lim about differentiating yourself from the other applicants. Perhaps you might want to consider stating some of your achievements when you become a relief teacher or tutor. It could be something like, "Results of students improved by a grade or by 20%."
It will be better if you can provide the exact date of graduation so that Ms. Tay know when you will be available to start work.
Regards,
Jason
Hey Aaron,
ReplyDeleteI think you've got a good letter there. :)
Just 1 suggestion from me, at your closing paragraph, instead of "I look forward to hearing from you". I think you should set a date for the follow up, like maybe after a few days after you have sent the letter, you can call up the company to check if they have receive your letter.
Yongshen
hey aaron,
ReplyDeletei like your letter, especially the way you've kept it short and sweet, and getting your point firmly across.
one minor point which you might want to consider touching up is to elaborate on how you are able to demonstrate your creativity and a strong passion for teaching, to support your credentials in the letter.
cheers,
jj
Hi Mr Thong,
ReplyDeleteI can see the experiences that you have had previously from your application letter. However, there's no elaboration on any skills or qualitites that you possess that actually shows that you can make a good teacher.
Anyone can be a tutor or relief teacher, so you might wanna talk more about other skills that you have, or even probably how your students' results have improved.
Audrey